Clik here to view.
My five-year struggle with Google AdWords – and why they are good for you
Sheer stupidity: my secret copywriting weapon – but now I need help. Maybe you too? As you may have noticed with exasperation I have a fund of bad jokes. A favourite is on my stupidity. It often takes...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A tale of two posters
One a lost opportunity; the other perfect for purpose Stephen Leacock called advertising the science of arresting human intelligence just long enough to get money from it. Most people who write or...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Has the social media bubble burst? Not quite – and not entirely
Yet another testament to marketers’ ignorance, folly and unwillingness to do their homework “What we anticipate rarely occurs; what we never expect invariably happens” I often quote that wittiest of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
WTF? What d’you suppose they were smoking when they came up with this lulu?
This Acer ad manages to tick all the boxes. Unreadable. Irrelevant. Incompetent. And frankly just a teeny bit bananas Imagine you’re given the task of launching a new product. The market is bitterly...
View ArticleBullshit bingo: how to make absolutely,100% sure nobody knows why they should...
Obscurity, jargon and polysyllabic waffle do not impress. They just irritate, confuse and mystify As you may know somebody discovered a while ago that the thing people find most irritating in business...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Here’s a bizarre bit of marketing. Are they mad? No, just experiential
Advertising is by no means the only way to market. In October my partner Ian may well rearrange your thinking I took the picture in Bristol on my way to the train. There are table tennis tables dotted...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Advertising schizophrenia at Fiat
How can one firm run an ad as good as this – but another so bad it made me groan? Do you ever look at an ad and mutter to yourself, “Wanker”? I do. It’s a sad condition, I know. Why should any sane...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Two of the worst advertisements I saw this week
Which is worse? The wildly inappropriate or the totally incomprehensible? One of these ads is bad. The other is abysmal. If you wish your ads to work they must fit the context and the subject. The ad...
View ArticleClik here to view.
If you can’t relate to this, you’re on the moon
Who could it refer to? Any number of useless politicians and greedy bankers I hope Grizelda, the excellent cartoonist of The Oldie won’t mind this salute to her skills. I put it in for two reasons....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Snakes in shopping centres? Whatever next?
“Imagination is more important than knowledge” – Einstein. But how many marketers know how to use it? Everyone talks about “creativity” – but most confuse it with being different for the sake of being...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Good and bad: Lessons you can learn from two ads
Brilliant poster; stupid slogan; and an ad that throws away a good story I apologise for my usual tatty reproduction of these deathless works of art. Actually, I don’t. Your customers do not see them...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A tragic waste of money by charities
Do you contribute to charity? Me too. And I resent their ineptitude at marketing. They are squandering our money. Read this and I’ll explain Committed staff members on course to Shine! Three highly...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The most dangerous word in advertising? I disagree with Mr. Ogilvy – and his...
“Originality is the most dangerous word in the advertiser’s lexicon” – Rosser Reeves, often quoted by David Ogilvy As I mention with boring frequency, because I enjoyed every minute and am quite proud...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Free 15 minute video: strategy, tactics – and suicide by copy.
New Daily Deals Post If you came here after seeing my email, you may recall that I promised to analyse some copy I called the business equivalent of AIDS. But if you just read this stuff for a laugh,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Looking for more profit? You won’t find it up there. And stop lying to your...
When will you get it? We don’t give a hoot what you call yourself. We just want better service. Have a look at this, then ask yourself one or two questions. Such as “Who cares?” “Are you serious?” And...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A little fun for the weekend – plus a free flying pig to dodge
My two oldest friends are retired lawyers. One, Jeffrey, sent me this the other day. He is very funny. He used to introduce himself to people as “I’m Jeffrey. I handle all Drayton’s divorces.” He is a...
View ArticleDiscounting done right – in two ways
Amazon – what a surprise! – teach the online discount firms a lesson After savaging the demented copy Groupon and Living Social run the least I can do is show you how discounting does work. You can see...
View ArticleClik here to view.
How to kill your brand: a quick, easy lesson from Boots
Two cloths that teach a lesson Why the big, thick spectacle cleansing cloth on the left cost a lot less than the small thin one on the right Some years ago I wrote copy for INSEAD’s School of Executive...
View ArticleHow to get the most out of meetings
Why do most meetings produce so little? A simple explanation and some sensible suggestions from Andy Bounds Regular readers will know that I hate meetings. I don’t know anyone any good who likes them,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I bet this lavatory lady did more good than Cameron or Miliband will
I saw this little plaque, high up on the outside of a ladies’ lavatory on the Downs in Bristol near me. Three thoughts came immediately to mind. First, how thoughtful and imaginative of whichever body...
View Article
